"We go round in circles, saying the same thing but getting nowhere."
"I avoid bringing things up because it always ends in an argument."
"Why doesn't my partner understand me?"
If any of these feel familiar, therapy can help.
How can therapy
help us
?
The couples I work with often feel
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stuck in painful or unhelpful relationship patterns
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that smaller disagreements often build into bigger conflicts, fuelled by a backlog of unspoken feelings
They come to therapy because
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they avoid hard conversations because they 'know how their partner will react' which leaves them feeling unheard and frustrated.
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they notice they circle round things without ever really resolving them
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they want to enjoy healthier and more fulfilling relationships
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they want to communicate better and feel more understood
Our work together might include
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Slowing down in the moment so you both notice what's happening rather than rushing into the familiar cycle
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Learning and practicing communication skills that you can use at home in real conversations
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Listening for what is said as well as what is left unsaid
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Practicing new ways of listening, speaking and connecting
Therapy doesn't erase differences, but it can help you to learn to navigate them with more honesty, compassion and skill
Your questions answered
What if my partner doesn't want to come to therapy?
Even if your partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy you might still find that having some individual sessions will help you to process how you're feeling about the relationship. Therapy could help you with communication, setting boundaries, establishing what is within your control and what isn't.
What if we argue during a session?
It's absolutely normal for emotions to rise during sessions but together we will change the course of these interactions. Learning to pause and look at what's going on underneath the conflict.
Can therapy help even if we're unsure if we'll stay together?
Yes, in fact this is one of the most common reasons why couples come to therapy. Therapy can give you the space to be able to work out what you both want, individually and as a couple. Therapy can help you learn to communicate without defensiveness which helps decision making to become easier as well as reduce conflict.